My doctor drew this graph for me. I thought you might relate. Recovery from any kind of stress or trauma is really the same. Once free from abuse, we think it will be easy, but that's not usually the case.We are fearfully and wonderfully made...
Loss and pain comes in many ways. It could be a car crash, or a sudden illness, or a fire, or a bad investment. It could be a court case or a job loss. It could be a relationship that breaks up. It could be...
So many of us live outside of the moment, instead of in the moment. Child sexual abuse survivors are especially prone to this. Our God given protective devices that enable us to mentally check-out during abuse can carry over into every part of life. While...
Sometimes, we just want someone to understand. We don't need platitudes or sermons. We don't want someone to fix everything. We don't even really want to commiserate. We just want someone to walk through it with.Whatever your 'it' is. Many people I know have suffered...
Being frustrated all the time is very common in our society. Abuse survivors are numerous in our culture. We have a greater propensity toward perfectionism than that of the general population, because our sense of security and feeling in-control has been infringed upon.Everyone wants to...
You might be a perfectionist and not even know it. Many of the people I know are. If you have suffered trauma or abuse at the hands of other people, there's a good chance you'll develop perfectionism as a way of gaining control.When people hurt...
When I was a small child, I was sexually abused. Most of the time, it happened in a barn, at the edge of my grandmother's property. It started in the house though. It started with my grandmother and aunt preparing us with fear, manipulation and...
We all have walls around our lives and around our hearts. Those who don't, live in chaos. Of course, I mean the intangible, invisible boundaries that keep us safe emotionally, spiritually and sometimes physically.Early in world history, walls were the primary defense for cities. They...
What does it mean to win when communicating? I think it means successfully conveying the information necessary to create positive outcomes for all parties involved. I think most people want to make progress, because we value people. Those of us who have been abused might...
Sometimes we are impatient. For those of us who have suffered abuse, getting free from our abuser isn't an event, but a process.If you were in a situation that was a one-off, week long relationship that turned badly very fast, you can have lingering effects....